I am currently living in the alchemy of descent. Another descent, a deeper layer of being uncomfortable, and brave and sad and alive. A mother layer. How can I be my own mother, my own warm hand and chest built for sobbing and celebration and rage?
There is a feeling, a language in me that says the system I’ve been contorting to is no longer worth the payoff. I’m a witch, a healer, a listener, a be-with-er, a cry-er of tears because that’s living. My heart’s been broken, and I won’t fumble that. A broken heart is a blessing for transformation an excuse to be ugly and feral. Do not waste the gift of suffering. Wail. And then be new. Wail. Then be new.
A timeline of recent events
April 2026: After about a year of job searching, I accepted a tech role offer at a very large “safe” corporation.
June 2026: I have the knowing, an internal pull, to go back to grad school to become a therapist. This is a calling that I’m finally ripe for.
June 2026: best friends week at OBX, a balm for my heart
July 2026: my 44th birthday celebrated with dear dear friends, a moment of milestone for both my personal and emotional work. My heart is full. The women in my life who have held up my heart and believed in my courage when I didn’t are all honored on this birthday.
Aug 2026: My 12-year-old daughter and I go on an epic adventure to Peru. We hike, we travel, we stay with a beautiful family, we weave, we laugh and cry and grow. This changes us both.
Sept 2026: I start my grad program.
Sept 2026: I am laid off a third time from my tech role. This is the job that’s paying the mortgage, sustaining the 401k, health insurance, and paying for grad school. This causes a million different conflicting feelings. So proud of my ability to hold all of it
Oct 2026: A realization I’ve been keeping my feet in two worlds. I want to feel safe. It’s a practice of hedging my bets, creating a safety net underneath a safety net. A foot in the corporate tech world and a foot in my healing work world (therapy, astrology, plant medicine). The universe has shared her verdict: I’m all done, and it’s time to cultivate the witch. And thank fucking goddess for that.
I am back to my astrology work and open and available for readings. What threshold are you currently walking? I’ve kept my chart and transits close during this time; it’s been so grounding and revelatory. There’s been so much comfort in feeling the turn of the wheel of life transitions and working with these moments consciously. I am honoring a soul on its growth path because I have the capacity, community, wisdom, and courage. So do you.
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